One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
