my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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