It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
