Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
