So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
