They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize