I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
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11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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