is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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