i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
