She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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