She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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