Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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