well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
