My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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