And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
