It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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