Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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