she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
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No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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