I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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