I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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