You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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