No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
