im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
