He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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