absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
