Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
