She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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