ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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