mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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