I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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