You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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