Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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