So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
