Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
