Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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