i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I AM VODKA MAN
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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