You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
