Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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