Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am one with the molecules
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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