And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
