god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
