I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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