Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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