there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
