I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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