maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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