I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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