1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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