I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
