this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i will never coherently bang her
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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