not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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