Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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