you're like a bully in the Christmas story
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
As shirtless as possible
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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