The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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