Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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