do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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