I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
