sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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