So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
